Milwaukee’s RAW MATERIALS
‘MOXIE!’
out now
on
all
streaming platforms !
out now
on
all
streaming platforms !
I want a demolition.
I can’t let go of anything .
I’m either a machine consumed by big ideas or a ragdoll drunkenly dancing in the wings .
I don’t even dream anymore , i just think I think about the tightrope as it’s been a tricky bridge to memory .
I think about the Barista & Barkeeper story she told me , for it is a metaphor for timing and why it could never work .
I think about how children’s programs fucked up my perception as a kid . i think about if i’ve lost the spirit of that kid . I think about my friends from Arizona .
I miss their stories & voices telling them. Their laughs especially . I think about her & the video from 2018 when we first met . I watch these videos of her til i fall asleep . I think about if i fucked this all up , something about ambition being the catalyst to leave North Carolina , to leave Arizona , to leave Switzerland when her & i finally reconnected after 8 years.
I spent almost the entirety of my youth wanting what i had just to leave it all .
I think all these thoughts right before
i close my eyes & then i am amongst no imagination . only ironic humor.
I think about the Barista & Barkeeper story she told me , for it is a metaphor for timing and why it could never work .
I think about how children’s programs fucked up my perception as a kid . i think about if i’ve lost the spirit of that kid . I think about my friends from Arizona .
I miss their stories & voices telling them. Their laughs especially . I think about her & the video from 2018 when we first met . I watch these videos of her til i fall asleep . I think about if i fucked this all up , something about ambition being the catalyst to leave North Carolina , to leave Arizona , to leave Switzerland when her & i finally reconnected after 8 years.
I spent almost the entirety of my youth wanting what i had just to leave it all .
I think all these thoughts right before
i close my eyes & then i am amongst no imagination . only ironic humor.
That’s Not a Horizon,
it’s an
Atomic Bomb !
film
WE REVEALED OURSELVES TO EACH OTHER LAST NIGHT .
AN 80s FILM YOU’VE SEEN TOO MANY TIMES .
I TRIED TO KISS YOU BUT YOU CRIED A HOLE IN MY WHITE TEE THAT BURNED ON ME RED & PINK MASCARA FOR THIS CANVAS COME MORNING— RIGHT INTO MY STERNUM .
I WAS SWEPT OFF MY FEET BY WHAT I COULD SEE BEHIND YOUR FACE .
THIS LOOK YOU’VE HAD ON FOR YEARS STARTING TO DISTORT ITSELF— YOU WEREN’T CRYING BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MOVIE .
WE HAD ONLY MET EACH OTHER HOURS BEFORE AT A POOL PARTY I HAD NO BUSINESS BEING AT .
BUT IT SEEMED LIKE THE LA THING TO DO .
YOU TOLD ME TO MEET YOU LATER at DRAWING ROOM,
A BAR IN LOS ANGELES THAT DID KARAOKE ON SUNDAYS .YOU WERE WITH YOUR ROOMMATE & YOU BOTH BAITED ME TO SING SOMETHING . AND OF COURSE I ACTED LIKE I WAS TOO COOL . BUT I LIKED THE WAY YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME , SO , I JUMPED ON IT LIKE TROY BOLTON . I SANG HOUSE OF CARDS— CREEP WAS ALREADY TAKEN . YOU DIDN’T KNOW THE SONG SO IT WAS EASIER TO MAKE IT MY OWN .
I USED MY FALSETTO WITH RESTRAINT & YOU WANTED TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS TAKE .
WE BOTH WANTED TO PUT OUR HANDS ON EACH OTHER , THAT WAS OBVIOUS .BUT AS WE BOTH SAT ON YOUR COUCH WITH MORE TO SAY , IT WAS AS FAR AS WE COULD GO . I CONFESSED TO YOU SOMETHING I'VE NEVER SHARED , AFTER YOU HAD DONE THE SAME .
IT WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS TEARING YOU UP INSIDE , A PATTERN OF BEATING THE DEAD HORSE and THIS RELEASE WAS AN ATTEMPT AT A FULL STOP , TO MAKE FOR A DIVINE DESIGNATED DEMOLITION BUT AS PAINFUL AS IT IS , WE MAY BOTH END UP RIGHT WHERE WE ADMITTED WE DIDN’T WANNA BE— & THEN I GUESS WE TRY AGAIN .
TO ME , IT TAKES MOXIE ! TO BE WITNESSED LIKE THIS.
I REMEMBER LEAVING ENLIGHTENED BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME , IN A LONG TIME , A STRANGER WAS HONEST TO ME .